k now..i'll try to make my blog better and better...the last 2 weeks,i think my life was dull,which is not...cos really,my life is very2 adventurous and challenging..and i don't think anybody can have a life like mine...and let just say,i'm ASHAME of it...
I AM VERY2 ASHAME OF IT!!!!!!
and let just say,i don't think you can be as strong as me or my sis about it...i think maybe you'll cry or blame that person about what have he/she done....
and let just say,i'm very2 mad with that person,cos to tell you the truth,that person LIED TO ME!!...AND ONE OF THE THING THAT I HATE IN THE WORLD IS THE PEOPLE WHO LIE TO ME!....MAY IT BE SOLAT OR ANYTHING,OR WHERE YOU ARE,JUST DON'T LIE TO ME....
NEVER EVER LIE TO ME...!..eventhough it'll hurt me or something,but never lie,cos if you lie to me,my trust to you will gone....
and i'm a naive person..once i lay my trust to a person,if that person broke my trust,i'll never be comfortable or even want to friend with that person...and i already show my true being as a HATER in this 'broke my trust' thing by still not being friend with amalina...as much as i forgive her,i already lose my trust on her...to friend with her again is a nice thing,but to have a friendship like last time is definite zero.....
like hani said "waktu zaman gemilang dulu~" which means when we were friends....
maybe we'll hang out again like before,but i don't think i can be comfortable with her like before...maybe i'll just smile and be nice to her cos i'm not a person who'll burst my anger in public...and anyway,maybe i'll just hang out with her just to make my friends remember our 'zaman gemilang' which obviously will make me become a hypocrite...
and another thing,maybe i'm just too tired of my life,that i only talk nonsense in this blog..unlike some people who talked about interesting stuff like going on a holiday,their crush,their fantastic family and all....
i'm jealous with many things in my life...when a certain people that never interested in Liverpool suddenly tell me that she'll be going to Liverpool,i'll be mad as hell...but i'm a positive person..i'll just accept it and just thinking it's not my time yet...when people inform others that they'll have their hajj or even umrah,i'll envy that people cos God already call them before me....and that's just show that i'm still not a good person in the eyes of the God...you may see me hold my hands like i'm praying all the times,or see my mouth mumbling about something cos that is just me saying my syahadah all the time,cos i don't want to have a hard time during my deathtime,eventhough something like that is not as east as it said...
i'm jealous with many things...and that just show how strong and weak i am..strong;by thinking that i'm still human and still not give up and just accept life like it is...weak;by thinking that i never try hard enough to be that someone and thus makes me jealous to other person...
i like people praise me,but i detest people that overestimate me...i like people to respect me,but i feel embarass and dislike when people overrespect me...
some people maybe like to be me,and some people maybe never want to know me...maybe i'm just a person that never satisfied with anything...but sometimes,i want to condemn that...
just like when i say that the people who understand me is me..i always want to condemn that...
just when i think that i'm not a friendly person,i think that the truth is i am a friendly person...i'm just never close with other person...i realize that i have many types of friends...may it be plastics or nerd,i just friend with them...
but i'm stupid just like other human beings that never realize about themselves...
i have everything that i want...
and why i still not happy about it?
pity me with a reason bcos i think i'm more distant than usual...and i only make you wonder what really happen to me...
but all i want to request is just one thing,please pray for me to be happy..to enjoy life better than before,to accept things as it is and to be cheerful just like before and also to open my heart more and more..
ta then~!
- currently listening to DBSK's box in the ship
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