26 August, 2012


A'kum n ello.

i know i should have blog after someone at the cbox told me to blog. n yes, i am blogging now.

but i am not blogging abt what you want, for now. i'll blog about that later. maybe in few days. haha. sorry AsyaPrasanComel~!

anyway, what i actually want to blog right now is just some personal stuff. you either want to read this or ignore this and leave, you decide.

i have this really really painful feeling inside of me right now. whether it is because my period almost here or that the people around are just so horrible that i am just being emotional.

i am just.... so so so tired.

i am tired of being.... everything.
i am just so so tired.

i am so tired for talking bad stuff about you.
i am so tired for faking my smile when i see you.
i am so tired listening to your 'oh if you dont want me, i can leave' brag.
i am so tired of your 'why me?' sigh.

i am so tired of seeing the immaturity that you people have. i am just so so so bloody tired.

cant you be nice to people? cant you think about other people beside youself? can you shut up when nobody wants your opinion?

can you stop your stupid brags? can you stop your 'you cant live without me' brags? can you start reply nicely and not become like her? can you just shut up?

can you stop talking? can you stop being so annoying? can you use nice words? can you work hard? can you just be a grown up and stop being so childish? can you shut up?


i thought i was the one who talk too much. i thought i was the one who like to talk unnecessary stuff.

but for one day only, for one freaking day, i talked less and let my ears do the listening.

all i heard was dirty stuff. i heard annoyance. i heard.... bad stuff. and i know you waited for my mouth to do the bad stuff too.

and for one moment, when i actually talk, annoyance in the air. and i thought i was the one who being emotional!

and by the way, i am still waiting.
and i will not do what you asked.
and i will not let you change my way of life.

i admit, i am a very difficult person to deal with. but that is when you are with me, you think only about you. only you. not others. and you blame me.

yes, sometimes i look like i am selfish. i do things my way. others who know will ask why. others who pretend will just lose temper.

let just say, i am looking at my future for a farther life. but anxiety towards the most important person in the world stop me.

pretend you understand. pretend you know. pretend you just say WTF.

good night.

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