A'kum n ello...
sad post.i am emotional.can't help it.
like everybody know,i hate spoilers.very2 hater it.tho at 1st,i didn't hate it.but later by later,i was influenced by hani and then i followed her suit...spoilers are hateful..~~
and you know,i also hate being a person that know something...i hate being a person that always know the end of the story,and that's why i hate stories that are too predictable..cos things will just happen like we thought...
and so i hate it when people said "he got cancer.already stage 4.the cancer cell already spread to the bone"...want it or not,you just know,a belief like to be healthy is just like a time to be thinking about the future of your loves one,instead of yourself,cos u know,ur time is nearly the end...and you only waiting for the time to come...it's like when u hear what happen,what you have to do is only the time to prepare...
ah~~
so sad!!!!
maybe cos i already experienced it before,seeing my late-mother being weak and took many medicines and always visited the hospital every week....so i kinda like don't want to expect too much tho i know the only thing i can do is only pray for him...
it was too much,when my dad told me and my siblings about pak uda's disease,i tried to be like a fool,pretend like i dunno what the hell he said....cos really tho,i tried not to accept it...he said he was in pain like 3 months ago,and then the doctor said he didn't know what happen to him...and he just said maybe a tumor in his intestines...and then,last 2 weeks or so,the doctor said my pak uda has a tumor in his liver...and then my father told me,the cancer cells exact location was from the intestines,but already spread to the liver...and i was scared + shocked...i was mad at the doctor,how come he found out this late??...and then suddenly,my father said that the doctor assume that the cancer cells maybe already spread to the bone...i dunno what to think at that time~...it was too sudden...bad bad news appear...i was,again,mad cos how come the doctor didn't check it properly...i mean,pak uda came to him,and he said he didn't know what happen to him..and then found out his cancer is already in stage 4...
and when my dad informed me that pak uda is having his life like my mother,you know,eating painkillers...i just don't know what to think...
it was bad,and sad...
and i am mad at myself...cos i know what's the meaning of stage 4 and what will happen when the cancer cells attack the bone cells......
all the things that i know about don't have any positive things...just bad,and painful..painful to bear...
cos that is pak uda...a very good uncle of mine...one of my favourites...and he always visit me when i was sick..and he always gave me money whenever we met...and i feel very2 guilty for not visiting him even now.
ah~~
i hope he'll be healthy...
tho the possibility is low..
i'll always pray for him....
always~
AMIN~~!!
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