pak uda

A'kum n ello..

k..
i start the blog with some bad news...

my PAK UDA,whom i blogged about earlier,who also the cancer-victim...had passed away yesterday...it was something that already predictable,but still i couldn't help but cry when i heard about it from my father...cos he was a very close uncle of mine...he once asked me to live with him when my mother passed away..and he always gave me money...and he always made stupid jokes...and now...i couldn't face any of that again....ah~....i was too sad when i heard about it...

and more worst...i asked the kmpp office to approve my emergency call to go to tg malim cos that was the place that my pak uda will be buried...but the pengarah of kmpp,pak tajudin as i called him currently,he said something like this..

pak tajudin: bile meninggal ni?
alia: pagi td,pukul 10 lbih..
pak tajudin: (instead of asking what the disease)esok ade pilihan raya kmpp.
alia:(i was trying to not say "SO???")
pak tajudin: esok pukul 8 takleh balik ke..?..kalo pegi skarg pun,dah kebumi dah pun.
alia: erm,ok.

NOW,NOW OLD MAN..!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???????????????????
LUCKY YOU THAT I AM THE NICEST PERSON ON EARTH..
AS I CAN BE VERY CALM IN FRONT OF YOU..
but IF YOU DARE SAY SOMETHING LIKE DEATH A SMALL THING,go die yourself!...

can't you believe it???
that guy think the pilihan raya is more important than my uncle's funeral!!..
YA ALLAH,I DUNNO HOW CAN THIS KIND OF PERSON EXIST??
i mean,i know it was only an uncle..
but do i really need to explain WHY HE IS AN IMPORTANT PERSON TO ME..?
THE MAN is an old man already..
he doesn't need my explaination..
nor my vote for the future..
da..
the heck~

k..
imagine if that was his funeral..
and one of this student-ketua h.e.m conversation will repeat again...

ketua h.e.m:kenape ni..?
student: uncle saya,pak tajudin meninggal.
ketua h.e.m: penting ke?
student: erm,tak penting.pak cik saya je.
ketua h.e.m:takyah balik then..

my,my...
imagine if something like this happen to him in the future..
shitte really..

such a sucker..

and then...
more things happen cos i really want to go tg malim..
not bcos of homesick..
but bcos i want to mourn for my pak uda at tg malim together with my cousins..
i mean,he was one of the most important person in my family..
and now he's gone..
and i don't think i can be that close with another uncle...
da..

and so...
this morning..
after that stupid poll...i went out with emi to pacific...met new people ie emi's friends...and all of them were guys...and one of them is Liverpool fan....but still,these people are new to me..so i have to control myself when i was with them...really tho...things are too awkward for me to show my trueself...i can't make myself shown just by directly show my trueself...i mean,the 1st time i met atman and shazizan and other guys..i think i wasn't too directly friendly with them..but still,it was fun being with them...tho those guys were being such an Atman ie being gay....and when they showed their gay pose,i sent a pic of their gay pose to atman...cos maybe i have to
remind atman that he wasn't the only gay alive...ahah...

and so...bought a new shoes...nice~..rm25 only...

and my dad called me on my way home after the outing...he let aiman talked to me...that lil boy always said my name!!!...ah~...and at that time,they were celebrating mak cik azah's birthday..and also...i asked my dad that i want a new phone...and i told him i want a 3G cos i need that desperately!!!!!!!!!!!

k then..
too long i think..

ta then!

*any spelling or grammatical errors are something that i'm lazy to care

PAK UDA,YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE and AL-FATEHAH.

moments at the hospital

A'kum n ello..

late,but Liverpool won last night...have to say it cos it was a moment to remember...Gerrard's 300th appearance for Liverpool in the league...and also Torress 3oth goal of the season in all competition...and also,a nice good way to shut up the press about the Liverpool problem off-the pitch...

huhu..

and yesterday also,went to Selayang Hospital..my father,haikal and i visited pak uda who still sick...and a new news from my father,my cousin asked the doctor why pak uda wasn't treated by the oncologist...??...and the doctor said"dah takde harapan dah"....he said that to the daughter of the patient....believe me,if that doctor said that to me,i'll be like a mad woman....but that cousin of mine is very strong..she just accept it..and then...when i saw pak uda on the bed...he was sleeping...saw that his body was stapled instead of stitched...i thought glue was the new stitch...the technology is improving faster than i imagine...

anyway...pak uda who was a fat man before become a thin man...his cheeks are not as chubby as before...and he didn't smile at all...i tried not to appear in front of him too much...cos i think i always have a sympathetic smile around sick people...i don't think something like that is what he wants right now...

met mak ngah and pak ngah...mak ngah asked me"alisa-nye pipi makin kurus ke gemuk?"...i have to laugh...that's the thing she remember about my sis...and then i saw my cousin...i called her:adik ngah(full name:ain nadia)...i told her about my driving experience...the others listened to my story too...and they laughed...sheeeesshh~....and when i was bored,i showed the ft island vids to my brother...i told him about the fanmeeting and the so-called concert...the 1st question he asked me was "ayah tau tak?"...and so i said,"ayah tau dah"....i didn't tell him that my father didn't know about the cancellation..and my brother heard intently what i said and all...

unlike my 1st brother,my 2nd brother listened what i said words by words...while my 1st bro didn't listen to what i said,but instead told me"alia takyah bitau amin.amin tak dgr pun"...haish2...~~

and talking about the concert,saw the photos of the ft island concert in Thailand...it was kind sad to see it cos eventho i got a free ticket,i was hoping to see the concert and give a nightmare to jaejin...but can't do anything about it anymore...

k...
back to the hospital...

my sis called my phone,and yelled at the phone cos we didn't take her to the hospital...lucky we didn't go to the pc fair...she'll be madder...

and a humiliation to say the least,after i went out from a toilet at the hospital,i realized i didn't unzip my pants...and so i tried to not show it to my father n bro...but instead i showed it to this old man...haish2~~...i thought nobody was behind me so i looked at my back just to make sure while i zipped my zipper,then saw that old man...lucky my father chose to go to the lobby by using the stairs instead of the lift cos i dunno where to look if we share the same lift with that old man...

k then ta!

• currently listening to Greeeen's tabidachi...
  

bank~~!

A'kum n ello...

nice~..i already took my cheque from amanah raya..and then opened up an ASB and CIMB account...cool~...

it was my 1st time,and i did this all alone...so i was totally blank especially when when i want to open the ASB account...the man there told me that i must fill-up this blue paper..and so i did what he told me...and then i saw some terms...i was like 'k,wth is this?'...and so i asked the man again...and when he told me,i was trying to understand what he said...maybe i had a confused face,so he did all the stuff for me..when he knew that i want to bank-in a cheque,instead of cash,he said i have to pay RM10 cos he have to check if the cheque is real or not(something like that),so i have to wait for 4 days for the check to be bank-in in my ASB account..and the 1st number in my ASB account is the RM10 i paid...and after that he told me that i must come on 15th april to bank-in my cheque....

i dunno if you understand the heck i'm talking about,cos i'm confuse about it myself...ahah~
but still,i said ok to him,tho i dunno who'll send me to that place later next week....

and then..went to CIMB..i went to the one that acu works...asked acu to help me open up an account...and then she took me to her workmate,who met me before when i was 11...truthfully,i dunno her...but she was surprised to see me all grown up and all...and then,did all the stuff that i must do...and acu asked me where i work...i told her i work at KUMON...and i told her that my work is mainly mark students' paper and once in a while,teach them too..and then acu told me that she wants me to be her son's tutor...nice~...she said"ko tak pnah pun btau acu yg ko terer math!"...and so i told her arrogantly"alia mmg terer math,acu...alia tak terer add math je"...i got a slap at the shoulder from her...and then i told her that KUMON paid me RM3 for each hours...and then acu said"kalo ko jaga anak aku,mesti lagi byk lagi gaji ko dari tu"....

i had a 2nd thought when she said that...
but i had enough of taking care of lil kiddies....

btw,i went there with syefah and farahin...farahin said she wanted to bank-in some money to her friend...and acu said she'll help her...found out later that ah hin only want to bank-in RM20 only...she got some 'nice' words from acu after that...

and then on the evening,after finished all those stuff(thanks to syefah and farahin for waiting me and sending me to those places),went to Selayang Hospital to visit pak uda...he just got out from the surgery room when we arrived...he was sleeping,but saw me and my sis for 5 seconds or so and then went to sleep...my sis said she was nearly in tears(kot) when she saw him lying on the bed...and i thought i will cry when i see him...but maybe i was trying to calm myself and have the belief that he'll be alright,i didn't have the feeling to cry...

anyway,the post today kinda like lame,maybe cos i'm too tired rite now...only slept for 3 hours only,even my 1st bro was worried when he saw me getting ready to go to the bank...

k..ta then!

• currently listening to Backstreet Boys' i'll be the one...
  

hope u're fine.u will.AMIN!

A'kum n ello...

sad post.i am emotional.can't help it.

like everybody know,i hate spoilers.very2 hater it.tho at 1st,i didn't hate it.but later by later,i was influenced by hani and then i followed her suit...spoilers are hateful..~~

and you know,i also hate being a person that know something...i hate being a person that always know the end of the story,and that's why i hate stories that are too predictable..cos things will just happen like we thought...

and so i hate it when people said "he got cancer.already stage 4.the cancer cell already spread to the bone"...want it or not,you just know,a belief like to be healthy is just like a time to be thinking about the future of your loves one,instead of yourself,cos u know,ur time is nearly the end...and you only waiting for the time to come...it's like when u hear what happen,what you have to do is only the time to prepare...

ah~~
so sad!!!!

maybe cos i already experienced it before,seeing my late-mother being weak and took many medicines and always visited the hospital every week....so i kinda like don't want to expect too much tho i know the only thing i can do is only pray for him...

it was too much,when my dad told me and my siblings about pak uda's disease,i tried to be like a fool,pretend like i dunno what the hell he said....cos really tho,i tried not to accept it...he said he was in pain like 3 months ago,and then the doctor said he didn't know what happen to him...and he just said maybe a tumor in his intestines...and then,last 2 weeks or so,the doctor said my pak uda has a tumor in his liver...and then my father told me,the cancer cells exact location was from the intestines,but already spread to the liver...and i was scared + shocked...i was mad at the doctor,how come he found out this late??...and then suddenly,my father said that the doctor assume that the cancer cells maybe already spread to the bone...i dunno what to think at that time~...it was too sudden...bad bad news appear...i was,again,mad cos how come the doctor didn't check it properly...i mean,pak uda came to him,and he said he didn't know what happen to him..and then found out his cancer is already in stage 4...

and when my dad informed me that pak uda is having his life like my mother,you know,eating painkillers...i just don't know what to think...

it was bad,and sad...
and i am mad at myself...cos i know what's the meaning of stage 4 and what will happen when the cancer cells attack the bone cells......

all the things that i know about don't have any positive things...just bad,and painful..painful to bear...

cos that is pak uda...a very good uncle of mine...one of my favourites...and he always visit me when i was sick..and he always gave me money whenever we met...and i feel very2 guilty for not visiting him even now.

ah~~
i hope he'll be healthy...
tho the possibility is low..
i'll always pray for him....

always~
AMIN~~!!

A'kum n ello..

just got back from visiting Pak Uda's house..he is my late-mum's older brother...and currently,he is sick..i don't know what happen to him..i already asked his daughter...she said she also don't know...anyway..he was a lil bit quite today..not as funny as he use to be...but still as kind as always...just rest and pray...

sickness really make you quite..

but the visit was fun...my cousin,ngah(real name:ain) bought us pisang goreng and nasi lemak...just after few minutes at that place,my father called pak uda's phone..and he wants to talk to me...he asked me why we didn't tell him about our visit..and so on and on and on...i was really lazy to explain to him about what we(my bro,sis and i) doing nowadays....and don't ask me why..

anyway..i'm thinking about the a-level stuff and also about what me and my sis will cook for sunday...to be honest,i don't have any idea what to cook...i search at the internet,google 'resipi untuk ayah'..and one of the results i got was cekodok untuk ayah....cool!..i told my friends yesterday that maybe i will cook porridge for him...hahahaha....God knows how i really want them right now...

about the book that i currently reading right now(stephenie meyer's Twilight)...i search about the book in the net cos i thought i heard there's a movie name Twilight..so i just wanna check it..then..i found out that VERY thick Twilight book has a sequel...and also that book will have a movie...and the one who play the hot vampire is Robert Pattinson,the guy who act as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter 4...haish,i really hope there's someone better than him..but tough luck,i'm not the director...

and also here i want to say..if my plan to be a doctor has problem later,maybe i'm planning to be a tour guide..hoho...i just dunno why..maybe cos something like Tokyo Holiday will happen..huhu..dream on~

ta!

• currently listening to Wonder Girls' tell me..